Only a true West Virginian knows...
Only a true West Virginian knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.
Only a true West Virginian knows how many fish, creasy greens, turnip greens, peas, biscuits, ramps, beans, etc. make up 'a mess.'
Only a true West Virginian can show or point out to you the general direction of 'yonder.'
Only a true West Virginian knows exactly how long 'dreckly is - as in, Gone to town, be back dreckly."
Even true West Virginian babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is NOT a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.
All true West Virginians know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.
Only a true West Virginian knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who has trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)
Only true West Virginians grow up knowing the difference between 'right-near' and 'a right fir piece.' They also know that 'just down the road' can be one mile or 20.
Only a true West Virginian both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
No true West Virginian would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
A true West Virginian knows that 'fixin'' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.
Only a true West Virginian knows that the term 'booger' can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger", or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.
Only true West Virginians make friends while standing in lines. We don't do 'queues,' we do 'lines'; and when we're 'in line,' we talk to everybody!
Put 100 true West Virginians in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.
True West Virginian never refer to one person as "y'all."
True West Virginians know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
Every true West Virginian knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
True West Virginians know the meaning of the term, "How's yer mom ennem?"
When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'..," you know you are in the presence of a jen-u-wine West Virginian!
True West Virginians say 'sweet tea' and 'sweet milk.' Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk.
And a true West Virginian knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the four ln. You just say, "Bless her heart," and go your own way.
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